Friendship

Friends are important for many people.
Regardless if they have Down syndrome or not.

Antonio Nodal has friends in the Ohrenkuss editorial office.
He writes:

„I want to be friend and silly, with Ohrenkuss is also 15 years here and with the people here just being friends and being silly.“

It’s the same for his colleague Marc Lohmann, who writes:

„Friendship: Being together with us colleagues.
And talking with them.
And writing for the paper (Ohrenkuss).
Friendship: Also being friend. With colleagues from Ohrenkuss.
Able to keep friendship.
Friendship: Having fun, good mates. Best friend. Laughing and making jokes. With friends, having conversations or at work.
Friendship: Going out for dinner, to the cinema, concerts, theatre. To the opera, but only very rarely.
Making contact: Yes, why not!
Address book, you need that. To look up. Phone numbers, and first names, and last names.
I have letters from Daniel and Verena written, and I hope that they arrive well and read through at home.
In case of rejection: think of something else!"

Lars Breidenbach is a long distance correspondent for Ohrenkuss who sends his texts by post.
He writes:

„Dear Ohrenkuss, I write topic, called friendship.
Very important: (through) thick and thin together means friends.
Friendship also means hugs, cheek kiss, polite, to be nice is important!
No arguments, arguing isn't so nice (because) then friendship is over.
Friendship, going out with friends: going for a walk, going for dinner, going swimming, also sauna.
Or picnic, topic called meadow, picnic on meadow, but without sun, I can't have sun, sunburn and heat rash, rash on the skin, I don't want that. Or drinking coffee at home, or birthday celebrations with friends.
Contact (keeping) is important: topic is called talking on the phone, telephone chat is important, keeping in contact, calling."

Maria Trojer finds being able to listen is important in a friendship.
She writes:

„Friendship / You can't buy friendship. / It can't be paid for. / You can only be friends. / Best friends are everywhere. / A girlfriend can listen well, when you have problems. / Or talk about boys. / Simply being together, how friends like to.“

Julia Bertmann writes about where you can meet friends:

„You can find friends at school, at work or while doing sports.
You need friends for chatting.
When I go to the movies I go with my best friend.
When you are sad friends can comfort you.
I also have pen pals. We write regularly.
You can also talk on the phone to your friend till your ear gets really hot.
My sister and I are also thick friends.
My best friend and I know each other for over 20 years.
Everyone has a different hobby.
But we understand each other nonetheless."

Verena Günnel likes to meet with her friends.
She writes:

„Friendship is getting to know many girlfriends.
And to talk and meet up.
And to invite.
We go walking in town a bit, sometimes we go to the Christmas market or the cinema, seeing movie.
And shopping.
I have a best friend, I can't give away the name.
Is a colleague of mine from my workplace.
She is still young.
She is my best friend.
When I am a friend I have to take respect, be sensitive, addressing friendly how a friendshiply friendship takes.
And to approach someone, then we are in contact.
Sometimes I call her at home, maybe with the phone and with the mobile.
Then I talk with her and we make date."

But friendship is not always mutual.
Verena Günnel finds this sad:

„Sometimes also there is no friendship, when no one wants to take friendship.
It is difficult to decide how friendship, because the means, that all because of this friendship, someone decides on a position towards themselves when friendship has no one anymore.
Then she has to remind herself to take her future and to say what she needs."

Marley Thelen has fun when she spends time with her friends.
She dictates:

„Activities with friends in every season!
Spring, sometimes the apples blossom and we like to pick and we jump and laugh, like a born child in the year and having fun.
We actually do girlfriend and boyfriend going swimming.
In the summer and eating ice cream.
During autumn I much prefer taking the dog out, and more fun I find when we go to the Melbad [local pool].
In winter we stay home.
Then we have a big Christmas party to celebrate.
With that comes something to eat."

Julian Göpel finds that gifts keep a friendship alive.
He writes:

„Friendship means for me, that you take gifts to your best friend.
Friendship is talking on the phone.
Friendship means you may party together as much as you like.
Friendship means that you write many beautiful texts, via the computer, via email for the other.
My best mate, with him you can have a lot of entertainment as friendship.
Friendship then is being active in your free time.
To talk to friends about stupid topics.
Making friends doing sports or at the disco.
To get to know at the movies and to send secret messages, only the friend can understand.”

Aladdin Detlefsen finds time spent with his mates is important.
He dictates:

„When one says are you my friend. It feels good. Friend is my mate. No friend is stranger, I don't even know at all.
I feel better. My feeling says much better.
Friends is friends.
To meet up.
I have friends, Pierre and Tobias and so on.
Different mates.

One wants to go movies, one wants to go to the flat and watch a movie at home.
Others want to watch soccer.
Or go out for lunch.
Seeing theatre.
Meeting is all the same.

My best friend I love being with best.
To talk to each other, also in sign language.
Phone asking: What do you want to do?
Lots of contact.
When I call, say how it is, and ask: 'Well, do you feel like it? Are you up for something?' 
The support person has to call, when - the time and meeting place.”

Dominic Edler writes on the computer.
Also on the topic Friendship:

„My bosom-buddies – that’s my two best friends.
Frieda is for me a best friend / When once I am sick, he is like a nurse / I know of him lots, because learning and good listening / I like him how he is he is a very good family friend with a disability.
Mark is a kind good colleague and friend. He makes me laugh at every fun.“

Angela Fritzen's best friend is called Christine.
Angela Fritzen writes about her:

„My friend is called Christine.
We have played a lot.
With instruments.
You have played with me the piano and recorder.
With instruments.
She was nice and friendly with me.
And she also likes a lot to talk about the friendship.
That is important to me.
She is exactly the same age as me, 38 years old.
Both 39 in May.
She died on Tuesday.
She died in the ambulance.
I was at the funeral, too.
We slept in the same room, earlier one time, when the father was still alive.
I simply joined in what they did.
She didn’t just play the piano, she also played the drums.
I was there.
It was my only friend and even my best friend.”

(A new friend) would have to be exactly as short as me, the same size.
She can be friendly and happy and she can very well laugh.
She should be friendly, I want that she laughs with me and treating me with tenderness.
She also has trust and I would like to have that.

Friendship: She has to have a girlfriend, if you understand me.
If you become my friend I would like to invite you to my 40th Birthday.
Drinking coffee together. Being in contact with me.

No friendship: As soon as someone hits me, that is impossible.
I know one.
There the friendship was over for me.
I didn't find that very thrilling.
Because I was pretty angry with her.
Now she still wants contact with me.
No, you wont get that. The end.

Finding friends?
I have to take one.
From the friendship letter.  
I did that once before with Veronika Hammel.
Her I also send texts to on the mobile."

Nora Fiedler has friends all around the world.
She writes:

"Friends are not found all over the world.
Friends are, those that like with each other to talk, dance and stay up late... but only when the parents are gone or night shifts or have Doppelkopf [German card game] classes.
So are my best friends and they do it the same as me.
Best friends are the most important thing in life for me.
My best friend is no invention.
She is real.
The end."

Romy Reißenweber finds it especially important to be there for each other in friendship.
She writes:

"What are friends (and girlfriends) for?
So you can exchange and be there for each other.
What kinds of friends are there?
Either they talk behind your back or straight into your face.
What are friends exactly?
You stick together.
How do you recognise a friend (a girlfriend)?
About girlfriend you can talk about everything or with a male friend you can become a couple.
What do friends do?
Meeting friends, city stroll, going to the movies.
Is it important that the friends have a disability? Or is it all the same?
No I think it is OK.
Everyone has a handicap we have something in common Down syndrome.
How do you find friends? Do you have some good advice?
Yes, you can't pick one.
You have to be willing to accept it.
How do you look after your friendships?
Either writing letters, texting or calling, e-mail.
What do you struggle with? Where might you need support?
It is hard to explain for me, can you please support me."

Teresa Knopp sometimes wishes for different friends than those she has. She writes:

„ I would like to find friends without my disadvantage.
But that is difficult.“

Verena Elisabeth Turin writes:

„My text came out of my head.
And I have myself from a white page onto the computer typed by email.

1) Friends are there for their friends for bad times. When they are having general difficulties. And they also stick together, firmly. Afterwards they do lots together.

2) There are many kinds of friends. Also false friends.

3) Friends are exactly, when you very kindly look after them. And worry. And call sometimes and ask how they are going.

4) You recognise a friend only, that they are nice friendly, very loving, respectful, a little concerned, empathetic, reliable, yielding, and giving back.

5) With friends you can do lots. For example: Ice cream and pizza and having a drink at the pub, going for walks, disco dancing, going to library, ice-skating, swimming, going to cinema, shopping.

6) For me the friends that have a disability are very important.
And I don't care if my friend has a disability.
My friend has epilepsy.

7) I find my friends in the computer when I write email letters.
Or when I click on your Ohrenkuss page one of the many profiles of long distance correspondent authors.
And very rarely on the internet when I look for a certain address.
Some I make on holidays new friends.

8) What I struggle with is to give my friend a slap in the face.

9) With support I only need train and bus connections from my father who can look it up on the computer.
Which train and bus connections are.
When I go to my boyfriend in St. Christina in the Grödnertal.
And also back again to Sterzig.

10) I have two good tips usually I make a questionnaire.
To the interesting person that I admire very much.
First I always write an introductory letter to this person.
Usually it says in my questionnaire if they are taken or not, and how he or she is called, favorite drink and food, hobbies, have they music cards.
And then do these people the filling-out of these questionnaires and send them back to me via mail.
You can also make a date and meet at the bar, disco, pool.

11) I take care very lovingly of my friendships.
Also in regards to old friendships.
Mostly I write letters to them.
A kind of pen-pal friendship.

Not all friends are visible.
Paul Spitzeck has an invisible friend.
He dictates:

„I have an invisible friend, he's called Tyrannosaurus Rex.
He is now at the sandpit with me and he always eats meat and doesn't hurt me, he is my friend and I always give him meat and throwing bones.“

Verena Elisabeth Turin sometimes gives out kisses to her friends.
She writes:

„Friendship - kisses are unforgettably beautiful.
That what I kiss, are the cheeks of the face."

The closing words go to Claudine Egli. She finds:

„Friendship is Love.”